Weight Loss

What is it about weight loss that makes it SO difficult? Is it the discipline? The fact that food just tastes SO GOOD it pleases all the senses? Is it the convenience of fast food? but that’s costly.. another excuse is that cooking for one person is hard.. is doing it alone the hard part? Is it the time it takes to see progress? Probably all of the above but something so simple is SO difficult WHY?! I used to hit the gym everydayyyyy even when I was hungover. Now I just lay around and be fat all day. Honestly, I think its the sedentary lifestyle I have right now that makes me comfortable with not exercising or taking care of myself. I don’t even mind eating healthy, I enjoy it, I enjoy the workouts, the stress relief, the energy, etc. but lately I’ve just really not been giving a flying fuck. NONE! even what this nude site going and people can see my every crevice, dimple, and ripple. I am however a lot more comfortable in my skin today than when I was at my thinnest, which is a good thing, but I’d like to go back to that size and it’s a little bit of a hurdle right now. But I got this. I GOT THIS! (as I pick up Taco Bell…) JK! I haven’t, yet… sigh, don’t judge me. Is it actually that I’m happy or what am I eating? what feeling am I eating? There’s just a mood of fuck it thats leading the way and I kind of enjoy it because I don’t stress or worry about anything and it’s amazing. But I should have something to worry about right? career? money? where the fuck and what happened to Juliet? but here I am, fat. And if the word fat is offending anyone how else can I say this? I feel overweight, lazy, sluggish, slow, big, unflattering, unattractive, but again none of that is pushing me to get to working out. WHAT IS HAPPENING. When did I get so comfortable and why? am I old? who am I? what even am I? I don’t know. Maybe because it’s easier this way, easier to fold and say I accept myself this way, is that a bad thing though? I like taking care of my health, because we just deteriorate as we get older especially sitting around doing nothing. It’s a killer. but I also like that I’m not pressed about it. Balance. Let’s work on balance, physically and mentally, and spiritually and sexually. what? idk. Work with me here people, tell my ass to hit the gym don’t call me fat though, I do that enough. Just remind me of the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle, and that it’s a process and I don’t look awful now BUT I could look better… and feel better.. and better, faster, stronger. Also you can scare me with zombie apocalypse theories and how I’ll need to be in shape if I want to survive and out run those mofos. Just an idea.

I’d also like to add that when I was at my thinnest, I was definitely going through some shit. Maybe I’ll just fuck up my life a little bit to get back in shape. Find a new fuckboy, maybe, you know something to rev up the engine. Nah too much wasted time and energy. Alright, lets do this. Let’s fucken do this.

This post photo shows me in 2014 and currently, in 2017. Almost didn’t do the side comparisons but FUCK IT!!

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